ME/CFS Recovery Stories - Holly
4 Months after the Energy Excellence Course:
Words cannot express the gratitude I have for teaching me how to gain my life back. I will be eternally grateful for the skills you taught that will help me throughout my life. I never imagined I would ever be free of pain or illness, I never imagined I would be happy. But I am all of those things.
I haven’t been in touch in a while as my life has been constantly on the go, I haven’t stopped, I can just keep going and going. It’s been 4 months now – the first 4 months I have felt that I am living.
For me life was only the waiting room, I lived waiting for the next problem to occur, the next time I would be hospitalized or bed bound or emotionally tortured by the cruel ignorance of people in my life.
I was ill from basically the word go as a child, I don’t remember there being a time when there was nothing wrong with me. I suffered a long time with no help, no understanding and no idea what was wrong. I grew up with a sense of isolation but until now I never understood why I always wanted to cry, why I just wanted to scream with anger, or even why I had to be at home ill when everyone else was having fun at school.
As I progressed into my teenage years, illness became an even bigger part of my life. Looking back I feel as a young teenager I was mentally tortured by being so isolated, most teenagers find their early years hard, but for me it worsened as I became sicker and sicker the older I became, more withdrawn to my bed and after a serious medical issue I was having to use a wheelchair as means of just leaving my bed.
All this has changed, you gave me the chance at a young age to be able to go out there and make something of myself. I am studying A levels of Law, Drama, Psychology and English literature. I am working part time as a waitress and I’m always on my feet. I swim and go to the gym at least twice a week and I can shop till I drop. I can go out with friends and not care, because I know I can still get up at 7am.
Mentally it took me a while to get here as I was ill for so very long, but I am now happier than I have ever been, I truly believe in myself, I no longer care what others think and the deep hole of depression I sank myself into is a thing of the past. Negativity is not in my vocabulary and if it even slightly pops into my mind I zap it with the process. I will continue to use these skills to further myself throughout my life. As a young women I have matured into the person I always wished I could be.
I felt dramatic difference after the first day, I felt lighter and felt like I could run and run, I doubted it at first, I thought this change was all in my head, I never believed it was real, I thought it was a dream. But I worked on the process harder than anything I have ever done despite my doubts – it wasn’t just a dream.
The most amazing thing ever, is to wake up and feel like I have slept.
Thank you a thousand times over.